


baking bad

by orphan_account



Series: ellinn’s drabbles [6]
Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Bakery AU, M/M, elllinn’s discord requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25427041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jonathan runs a cute little bakery in the village called Sticks and Scones. Unfortunately for him, Det. Evan Fong is 100% convinced that it’s a front for criminal activity. (discord request)
Relationships: Brock Barrus/Brian Hanby, Evan Fong/Jonathan | H2ODelirious, Luke Patterson/Ryan | Ohmwrecker
Series: ellinn’s drabbles [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794736
Kudos: 66





	baking bad

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I actually wrote a proper summary.

The bakery wasn’t his idea. He’d have to give Ryan credit for helping him find his passion, which eventually led to him having his dream career. For that, Jonathan was incredibly grateful.

“Y’know, you basically owe me your life.” Ryan said, airily sliding himself on the counter. Okay, he was thankful, but maybe not THAT thankful.

“Get off that! I prepare food there!” Jon whined, shoving Ryan off the counter. “Anyway, I’m not setting you up with Luke. He will fall in love with you naturally.”

“I doubt that.” Ryan sighed. Somehow catching himself as fell, he whipped around to prop himself on his elbow, leaning against the counter. “But hey, if you’ll ever reconsider-“

“Nah.” Jon chuckled. “Think I’ll let fate decide.”

“Oh yeah? Last time you said that, the police busted in and searched the place top to bottom.” Ryan pointed out.

“Yeah, that seems to happen quite a bit lately.” Jon mumbled, hopping over the counter to wipe down a few tables.

“Are you sure you’re not some mafia crime-lord that’s using the bakery as a front for some serious illegal shit?” Ryan giggled, turning to face Jon.

He snickered. “I wish. Then maybe they’d actually find something when they undoubtedly search the place AGAIN.”

“Mhm.” Ryan hummed, a devious smirk forming in his mouth. “And uh, what do you think of the cop?”

“What’dya mean?” Jon asked, face twisting with visible confusion.

“He’s cute is all I’m sayin’” Ryan shrugged.

“I thought you were all obsessed with Luke?” Jon rolled his eyes, thinking of what Luke would say if he heard this conversation.

“Oh yeah. He’s not MY type, but I’m sure you wouldn’t object. The man is beautiful!”

“I guess.” He was good-looking, anyone would agree, but the detective didn’t seem like he was looking for a date out of Jon, who was somewhat of a suspect, despite being completely innocent.

“Don’t tell me I’m wrong.” Ryan continued. “You’ve got the looks.”

“If you’re just tryna butter me up so I’ll get you that date-“ Jonathan started, pointing an accusing finger at the other.

“I would never!” Ryan fake scoffed. “Trust me, man. You’re stunning.”

“Well, thank you, but aren’t you late for work?” Jon commented, pointing up at the clock on the wall above him.

“Shit!” Ryan exclaimed, grabbing the sweater he had thrown onto a random chair before entering, and bolting out the door.

“Nice seein’ you too.” Jon muttered, flipping the ‘Closed’ sign to open up his shop.

It took a while for it to happen, but it did: Detective Evan Fong, a little less energetic than usual, shuffled into the bakery, with an expression to put a bulldog to shame.

“Someone’s not in a good mood.” Jon smiled, leaning forward on the counter a bit.

Evan’s fluffy hair was messed up, tired bags framed his eyes and his mouth was pulled into a sour pout. However, with his natural good-looks and a brown leather jacket over a slightly faded red top and black skinny jeans, he still managed to look his usual mesmerisingly handsome self.

“No shit.” Evan huffed, slamming a ten dollar bill onto the counter beside Jon.

“Oh, I see you’re actually buying something this time.” Jon chuckled. “What can I get ya?”

“Coffee, black.” Evan glanced down at the glass case of pastries. “And an apple turnover.”

“That’s four dollars fifty in change.” Jon said, popping the note in and handing Evan back his change in coins.

“Cool, thanks.” Evan mumbled. “I need to talk to you, so if there’s anyway you could uh,have someone else take over for a bit?”

“Oh yeah, sure.” Jon nodded, turning to head to the upstairs of the bakery, where he lived.

“Hey, Tyler, could you watch the register for a bit? The detective’s back again.” Jon informed the lump on his couch. Tyler had just been through a pretty rough break-up, so he was crashing on Jon’s couch for a while, because he was the only one who could actually afford to let Tyler stay with him. In return, Tyler did favours for him, including watching the bakery from time to time.

“Yeah, whatever.” Tyler sighed, slowly making his way off the couch and towards the door, snagging an apron off a nearby hook as he went.

The two made their way back downstairs, where Evan had found himself a table for two, and was munching on his pastry quite contentedly.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jon asked, sliding into the seat across from him. Despite Evan being incredibly suspicious of Jonathan, the two were apparently on casual terms.

“So, I can’t actually open any sort of investigation on you or your bakery because I have no solid evidence that you’re tied to any of this.” Evan said, pulling out a notebook and tapping the cover. “But there’s no way these can taste so good without some sort of illegal additive.”

Jon giggled. “Why, thank you! Glad you like it!”

“Oh gosh.” Evan huffed, sipping his coffee. “I’m serious, you’ve got something going on back there, and you or one of your buddies is gonna tell me.”

“Uh huh.” Jon continued to giggle.

“Alright, the only thing I can really do without an open investigation on you is ask you questions.” Evan sighed, flipping open the spiral notebook and whipping a pen out of what seemed to be thin air, but upon closer inspection turned out to be his sleeve. “Full name?”

“Jonathan De Lirius.”

“Age?”

“27.”

“Bakery name?”

“You should know-“

“Just answer the question, man.”

“Sticks and Scones.”

“Nice pun. Who’s the other guy?”

“That’s Tyler, he watches the store for me sometimes, and he’s a good friend of mine.”

“Any other employees unaccounted for?”

“Nope, just me and sometimes him. I don’t exactly pay him though.”

“Wait, you don’t pay him?” Evan asked, eyes lighting up. “That’s gotta be illegal!”

“I let him live upstairs rent-free. We have a deal.” Jon explained.

“Oh.” Evan shrunk a bit. “That’s... reasonable, I guess. Shit, I really don’t have anything on you, huh.”

“Nope.” Jon snickered. “You’ve got something on your face, though.”

“Huh?” Jon pointed to Evan’s cheek, where a little bit of apple stuck. “Oh.” He flushed pink, grabbing a napkin and wiping it off.

“Ha ha, that was adorable!” Jon kept giggling, positively beaming at the detective’s flushed cheeks.

“A-Anyway,” Evan coughed, moving to stand up. “I have no further questions so I, uh, best be going.”

“Okay, come back soon!” Jon smiled after him.

“I will!” Evan called back. “With evidence!”

* * *

He wasn’t obsessed. Brian could say whatever the fuck he wanted, but Evan was not obsessed.

“That’s the first sign: denial.” Brian commented, idly sipping his coffee.

“It’s not.” Evan protested. “I’m seriously onto something here. If I could only figure out what...”

“I’ve figured it out.” Brian replied, smug grin already forming. “You’ve got a crush.”

“WHAT?!” Evan earned a few disgruntled looks from the other detectives working at the desks around him. “I mean, I do not.”

“Mhm.” Brian hummed. “What was that thing, about little boys pulling little girls pigtails for attention? This is that, but gay.”

“Shut the fuck up, man. It’s not.” Evan insisted.

“Fine, tell me exactly what you did today.” Brian commanded.

“Well, I woke up late, went to work, went on break, headed down to the bakery, interrogated the suspect and came back here.” Evan said.

“And did you buy anything from Sticks and Scones?” Brian asked.

“Well, yeah, I was hungry.” Evan shrugged.

“And while ‘interrogating’ poor Jonathan did you two sit at a table for two, with food and drink? All while getting to know him?” Brian put air-quotes over ‘interrogating.’

“Y-Yes. Wait, it wasn’t-“

Brian cut him off with a cackle of delight. “You went on a date with him, man! Oh, Marcel’s gonna love this one!”

“No! It wasn’t a- You don’t know anything about me, Brian!” Evan hissed, standing up from his seat.

“I bet you fancy him!” Brian chortled, nearly falling off the desk he perched on. “Bet he fancies you! Who doesn’t?”

“Do you?” Evan smirked.

“Hey, watch yourself. I’m taken.” Brian replied, flashing his ring. “You are handsome, though. I guarantee ye that if he swings that way, he’ll fancy you.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Evan huffed. “Anyway, I know he is, I’ve met his ex. He left town a while ago, but at least that’s one thing I know about De Lirius.”

“Yeah, and you’d be delirious if you didn’t ask him out, ya fuckin’ moron!” Brian pushed, hopping off the desk and grabbing Evan by the shoulders. “Do it, Evan, or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

Evan narrowed his eyes. “Alright, Marty McFly. But ONLY to get closer to the suspect.”

Yeah, Evan wasn’t very good with his feelings.  
  


* * *

Saying yes wasn’t Jonathan’s idea either, however Ryan snatched the phone and answered for him before immediately hanging up.

That’s why Jon now stood in front of the mirror in a dark blue shirt and dark jeans with a skeptical expression on his face.

“This is so stupid.” Jon muttered, tucking his shirt into his trousers.

“Y’know he didn’t actually ask him on a DATE. He only asked him to get dinner to talk about things.” Luke commented, handing Jon a comb.

“Don’t rain on my parade. Our baby’s going on a date!” Ryan grinned, snatching the comb and fixing Jon’s hair for him.

“They grow up so fast.” Luke fake-sniffed. Jon shot Ryan a knowing look, to which he shot him a glare that said ‘I got you a date, now you return the favour.’

“Well hey, if I’m gonna be out tonight, you two could have dinner without me.” Jon said.

“You down?” Luke asked, all too casually glancing at Ryan.

“Y-Yeah, I’m good for dinner.” Ryan replied, cheeks pink.

“Cool, I’ll order pizza or something.” Luke walked away. The other two high-fived. Now they both had dates that technically weren’t dates. What a life.

* * *

“And you’re tellin’ me you still don’t feel an ounce of attraction to him?” Brian asked over the phone. Evan could hear the smirk in his voice.

“I wouldn’t say that, I mean, he’s cute by anyone’s standard.” Evan said, leaning on a fence post outside the restaurant.

“So... you’ll admit it’s a date?” Brian teased. 

“No!” Evan huffed. “It’s a tactical interrogation.”

“Which you can’t legally do without an open investigation on him, which there isn’t.” Brian pointed out. “So yeah, it’s a date.” 

“Whatever.” Evan sighed, spotting Jonathan approaching the restaurant. “Jon’s here, I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up the phone and made his way over to his ‘date’.

“Hey!” Jon smiled as he approached. “You look nice!”

“Th-Thanks. You too.” Evan replied, leading Jon into the building. “Table for two.” He said to the attendee.

The two got seated, sharing awkward glances over the table. Neither spoke, using the menus as an excuse.

“Hello there. What can I get you gentlemen today?” A female waitress asked them.

“What alcohol have you got?”

* * *

Eventually, the two got to talking, due to the fact that being tipsy made them care less about the awkwardness of the dinner. 

“So then I’m chasing this guy all the way up the stairs, right? And we know he’s heading for the roof.” Evan told him. Jon nodded along, eager for him to continue the story. “So I make it up there behind him, and we’re both out of breath. He turns to me, pulls out a pistol and points it directly at my forehead.”

“Holy shit.” Jon gasped. “Wait, what about Detective Hanby?”

“Oh, Brian was still taking care of the hostages. Lucky for me, his husband Brock was also on the case with us and had the sense to take the elevator. So he’s got the gun to my head, and that’s when Brock bursts out of the elevator and kicks him in the back of his knee, and he accidentally fires as he falls to the ground.”

“How’re you not dead?!” Jon exclaimed.

“Ah, because I saw the elevator doors open behind him, and I took that as my opportunity to get away. So I dove to the side and the bullet catches me right here.” Evan said, proudly showing Jon his palm, where a star-shaped scar was just visible.

“That’s so cool! I could never do anything like that.” Jon smiled, staring at the scar. “What happened with the criminal?”

“Oh, I blacked out from blood-loss after that, but from what I was told, Brock pinned him and cuffed him, and the guy went to prison for life.” Evan explained.

“Wow.” Jon gasped. “That sounds terrifying.”

“You get used to it.” Evan shrugged. “Although, if you are a criminal, I’m sure you’re used to it.”

“Why are you so convinced that I’m a bad guy?” Jonathan asked.

Evan stopped. “W-Well, before you opened your bakery, that place was a casino. It was the main source of criminal activity in the town. I guess... I guess I missed all those cool cases.”

“Oh?” Jon said, as if to ask ‘that’s it?’

Brian’s nagging voice floated into his head, and before Evan could stop himself he blurted out:

“Also, I may or may not kinda like you.”

“Oh.” Jon’s sharp blue eyes widened, staring at Evan, who refused to make eye contact. “So, is this a date?”

Evan sighed. “I suppose.”

“Oh, so Ryan was right.” Jon muttered to himself.

“Listen, if you wanna leave-“

“No!” Jon nearly yelled. “I- Uh, that is, if you wanna continue the... date?”

Evan’s face lit up with surprise. “Y-Yeah! I’d like that. If we’re finished here, I wouldn’t mind heading out?”

“Mhm!” Jon nodded. “Just, maybe not my place. I think I owe my roommates some alone time.”

**Author's Note:**

> Bit of a longer one, but I’m quite proud of it. Lemme know what ya think!


End file.
